Love Burnin' Loaf

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm one heck of a Meatloaf fan. No, not the kind your mother used to make for me on Sunday mornings, but the singer guy. Some of you might know him better as Bob from Fight Club. Whatever your reference is, he freakin' rocks. I was listeneing to his greatest hit collection last night( it only has 1 song) and I began to ask myself..."What won't he do for love??????" This question has been burning through the deepest caverns of my loins for many hours now. I feel compelled to share my list of things that I believe that Mr. Loaf won't do for love. Here they are:

1. Dip Oreos in Karl Rove's milkshake.
2. Have "Captain and Tennille" tatoo laser removed from right buttock.
3. Legally change name to "Pot Roast."
4. Sell soul for Dr. Pepper commercial(damn, already did that!)
5. Accept President Bush's nomination for Supreme Court Justice.
6. Sell his financial stake in Corn Futures.
7. Publically condemn Iran for anti-semitic comments. "Hey man, the Loaf don't judge."
8. Explain why objects in the rear-view mirror may appear closer than they are.

Please feel free to personally ponder your own ideas of things Mr. Loaf just will not do for love. Ciao.