Lebanon Stockpiling Hotties

Recent news reports from Syria-occupied Lebanon have revealed a disturbing fact--Lebanon has secretly been stockpiling Middle Eastern hotties for what appears to have been dozens of years.

Footage of anti-Syrian rallies taking place in Lebanon clearly shows scores of exceptionally fetching lasses tossing their lovely brown hair and charmingly chanting pro-democracy slogans. Political scientists worldwide are stunned by the revelation, and promise to travel to the region in order to study the phenomenon directly. And in related news, military recruiting stations across the United States were flooded with calls from young men volunteering to travel to Lebanon in support of the cause.

"Such an outpouring of activism from our nation's youth is truly an uplifting sign," said Secretary of the Army Howie 'Howitzer' Jones. "I, too, have decided to join these young men on their journey to Lebanon, and am moving Army operations headquarters to a quaint little coffee shop located on a Lebanese side street near the local women's college. It's the least I can do."

When Lebanese men were asked what they thought of decades of Syrian oppression, a staggering ninety-eight percent responded that they hadn't really noticed.