Josh Bolten Names McClellan Replacement

A mixture of controversy and musical chairs has surrounded the White House over the past several days as former Chief of Staff Andrew "I Will not Trade You For That" Card was replaced by Josh "Sooner Or Later I'm Gonna Be" Bolten. Since Bolten took his post on April 14th, several key White House positions have been changed. Opponents and Television Pundits alike have been calling for the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld since before he had his 7th birthday, but the resignation of White House Press Sec'y Scott McClellan came as a surprise. Many in the media looked favorably upon Mr. McClellan. CNN's Chief White House Correspondent Suzanne Malveaux said Mr. McClellan "Made the best sweet tea this side of the Mississip!" Fox News Anchor Brit "Gloom and Doom" Hume went on record saying that McClellan "Polished his Leather Chaps everyday like every good American should." Hume then added that any American who did not own a pair of Leather Chaps was a terrorist and should be flogged with a Rick James album.
Bolten named Mr. T to be McClellan's replacement late Wednesday night. Bolten refused to answer any questions, leaving the media to direct any questions towards the new Press Secretary.
I pity da...oh, nevermind. My favorite was the guy with the cigar anyway.