Why Did They Reject My Dowry?

Below are some of the most commonly-cited reasons that dowries were returned in third-world countries:

* "No heifer, no daughter. Period."

* "You call THAT a curd cake, Mohammed?"

* "Let's see, one dinar, two dinars, three dinars--no sir."

* "What, you think you're the only farmer in town with surplus rutabagas to throw around?"

* "The deal was, three shoulder-fired SAMs for the girl. And you reneged on the deal. Now I'm afraid I'll have to introduce you to my friend, Mr. Car-Battery-and-Alligator-Clips..."

* "In what universe would a fake Sudanese passport and a couple of rounds for an AK-47 get you anythng more than an autographed picture of my daughter, Mahmoud?"

* "You slip me the billy goat, I'll slip you the daughter."

* "A yam, an adze, and the Time-Life coffee table book 'Profiles in Pocket Lint'? Obviously, Abu, you did not come prepared to deal..."