Bush Threatens to Unleash "Ferocious Swarm of Hurricanes" Against Enemies

Recently unmasked by the liberal U.S. media as wielding absolute power over the weather (which led to intense criticism from Democratic lawmakers when he failed to stop last year's devastating storms that battered the American Gulf Coast), President Bush today declared that he stood prepared to unleash a "ferocious swarm of hurricanes" against America's enemies whenever the need may arise.

While Bush did not immediately identify potential targets by name, White House spokesman Scott McClellan hinted that Iran and Syria might be first on Mr. Bush's list.

"The President is prepared to let loose a withering onslaught of wind, water, and lightning against the enemies of freedom, wherever they may try to hide," McClellan said at a press conference earlier today.

When it was pointed out to McClellan that both Iran and Syria lie inland, McClellan retorted, "Well, I guess we'll just have to blow a lot of stuff apart on the way."