Ba'athist Trials Could Get Messy

The trials of several former officials of the Ba'athist regime, which governed Iraq until coalition forces overthrew Saddam Hussein last year, could be messy, warn officials within the US State Department who have asked to remain anonymous.

As this article went to press, there was a ring of journalists around the compound where the Ba'athists are being held, colloquially known as 'the tub'. Security at the tub is tight, especially since Ba'athist strongman Suds al-Showeri was assassinated last month by a local Iraqi man.

There will be no guns, knives, bombs, toasters, or rubber duckies allowed at the trial. All burqas must be monogrammed; the judges' parents will beat on the wall if the trial goes on for more than five minutes.