Bush Vows To Find Those Responsible For Tsunami; Names Neptune, Poseidon, Davy Jones New Axis of Evil

At a Wednesday press conference U.S. President G.W. Bush (W) had harsh words for "those proliferating tsunamic terror." He said the recent tsunami had all of the hallmarks of an Al Qaida attack except that it happened to non-westerners, was not suicidal in nature, was not followed by any claims by the terrorist organization and involved tectonic shifting and million upon millions of gallons of water. W went on to conjecture that Al Qaida must have had help pulling off such an attack and named Neptune, Poseidon and Davy Jones as the new oceanic axis of evil. Bush dismissed reporters who pointed out that Neptune and Poseidon are the same entity and that Davy Jones has not left his locker in years by stating that "The collation of the willing and coerced will hunt down any being, whether folk or mythological, who uses their powers for terror and will bring them to justice. This will be done by our own band of superfolk, The Occupiers." After much digging TDS has uncovered that the Occupiers powers include going to war for dubious reasons, holding fraudulent elections, installing sham governments, color coding, double talk and hypersonic underhandedness. When asked why he had waited three days to speak publicly in the wake of the worst natural disaster in memory, Bush replied that he had been looking for his "tsunami boots".