Screen Actors Guild Sets Forth Moral guidelines

Confused and uncertain in the soul-less, godless world that they have created for themselves the Hollywood elite have established a set of "sins" that will hopefully provide direction and purpose to life. While it is not required for the general population to follow these rules viewers of Entertainment Tonight and readers of US, People and Lemming Quarterly will surely imitate the actions of those blessed with beauty and silicon. The Daily Scoffer has of course obtained a list of these so called "Sins of Rodeo Drive" that have been release by the Screen Actors Guild (SAG).

Deadly Sins of Rodeo Drive
by The Screen Actors Guild

1. Buying off the rack
2. Modesty
3. Deviating from the script at award shows*
4. Knowing why you hate the Bush administration
5. Self-respect
6. Eating Ranch dressing
7. Giving back to the community
8. Not owning a pair of UGG boots
9. Missing Tuesday night scientology discussion group
10. Flying commercial

*except the Euro Daytime Emmy's

We hope that by following these maxims you can enjoy a more shallow, empty existence.