Bathing Beauties

It is not very often that I am excited to go to my mailbox and see what's inside. Normally it's the same stuff everyone else gets on a monthly basis...Jelly of the Month Club Dues, Funeral Home Coupons, Nigerian Yellow Cake, Ten Cases of Cabo Wabo tequila, you know, the usual suspects. But this month was different, way different. For you see, every year since 1678 Sports Illustrated has teamed up with some of the worlds hottest women to create a swimsuit edition of its magazine, and this year's installment was par for the course. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the ladies, they really rev my big block, but during this age of political correctness, I think it's time for SI to enter the 21st Century. Other than the typical blonde, big-breasted harlots that we see year after year, I'm proposing that we get a little diversity for next years issue. I'm confident you would all agree that Janet Reno would make a lovely cover girl. Sure she has massive stretch marks from her first pregnancy, but its nothing a little cocoa butter and mederma wont cure. Or maybe your toes curl for a different beauty, say Camryn Manheim from The Practice or the Vice President's little dirrty-legg Lynn Cheney. My personal favorite is the Queen Mum herself, what I wouldn't give to see her...uhh nevermind. Whomever its is, I urge, no I implore you to write your local congress person and demand that they make next years SI Swimsuit issue one for the ages!