North Korean Parliament Votes Unanimously...

...to appoint Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il to man the first North Korean nuclear ICBM.

"I advise the Dear Leader to sit right up front, where the view will be best," said an unnamed parliament member.

"Oh, goody goody!" squealed Kim in delight. "When can I ride in it? Huh? When can I? Huh? Can I ride in it yet? Can I? Pleeease... Puh-leeeeaaaaase let me ride in it! C'mon, can I? can I? can I?"

"Oh, I guess so," replied the parliament member. "Have a safe trip, Dear Leader!"