Budapest to Host Buddha-Fest

Budapest has been chosen to be the host of the annual Buddha-Fest in 2005, organization officials announced today. The Hungarian capital's central location and easy access to Milan, Italy's Noodle-Fest, to be held simultaneously, were key factors in the decision, the officials said.

Buddha-Fest is a celebration of the life and teachings of Siddhartha Gautama, the historical Buddha; it is also a chance for Buddhist leaders and scholars from around the world to meet and discuss the future of the predominantly-Asian religion. However, there are many activities planned that would appear to be more secular in nature. For example, one elderly woman with a particular fondness for her little dog told this reporter that she had waited in line for over nine hours just to have her poodle blessed. And the festivities will begin with a special live performance by two bands that have merged especially for the occasion: "Hoobastank" and "A Tribe Called Quest" have been practicing under the tentative moniker "Hooba-Quest" in preparation for their debut on the Budapest Buddha-Fest stage on opening night.

Despite reassurances from planners and coordinators, some residents of Budapest are expressing concern over the large crowds that the religious festival is expected to draw. One local woman was upset over the close proximity of a nudist colony, and felt that event organizers were being irresponsible in advertising that true believers and merry-makers alike were invited to attend "nude or dressed". Budapest police say they are looking into the matter, noting that several members of the force had already volunteered to stake out the nudist colony in anticipation of any mischief. And the International Association of Large Horn Players (IALHP) issued a statement today reiterating that tryouts for the Large Horn Ensemble would still take place in the concert hall immediately adjacent to the Buddha-Fest grounds; hopefuls were instructed to follow the signs reading "This Way to Tuba Test".

The Dalai Lama, who arrived at last year's event in Bangladesh to wild throngs shouting, "You Da Best, You Da Best!", said he was looking forward to both 2005's festival in Hungary, and also to 2006's event in the Caribbean. Because of large scale destruction caused by several powerful hurricanes this year, Buddha-Fest, 2006, will be moved from Cuba, East, to Cuba, West.