Ponce de Leon 'Only Joking'

Recently-unearthed documents from Ponce de Leon's semi-legendary quest for the fountain of youth offer a tantalizing glimpse into the mind of the great explorer.

"But goodness me, I was amidst several fetching lasses at a party in Lisboa, when the next thing I know I am spouting on at the mouth about going to the New World to search for a Fountain of Youth," one document, apparently written in de Leon's own hand, explains. "They were so impressed, and I had been drinking a not-inconsiderable amount--and I found that I could not shut myself up. Before I knew it, I had talked myself into such a hole that I had no choice but to outfit several ships and to mount an expedition to Florida in search of that completely fictitious, accursed fountain. I was only joking, I tell you. What a mess I have made of my life; me and my big mouth."

It is unknown if de Leon ever revealed his secret misgivings to the crew of men he led across the trackless Florida swamps and quagmires. In the end, de Leon died just like every mortal man.