President Bush Makes Campaign Stop at Tempe Middle School

The Associated Press reported late Tuesday night that President Bush will make a surprise stop along his campaign trail and visit Jefferson County Middle School located on the southern side of Tempe, Arizona. Aides closest to the Bush campaign have told the AP that the President plans on courting "the younger side" of Tempe in a last minute attempt to sway voters in the city that will host the third and final debate Wednesday night. The President will unveil a detailed agenda on how he plans to win the support of those in the middle school demographic. "Vending machines in all bathrooms, double the recess time, foot long hotdogs served every day and removal of the dress code" are just some of the proposals Bush will implement if re-elected. When asked what he thought of the plan, local school board member Jackson Hewitt was quoted as saying "this is the most ridiculously preposterous idea I have ever heard any human being create. I mean, the guy who invented the solar powered flashlight had more sense than this." Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry had only three words to respond to his opponent’s plan, "unconventional at best." When questioned about why he was soliciting support from a demographic that wasn’t even old enough to vote, Bush stated "I made a pledge in the last election to leave no child behind. This is my plan in action!"