Git-r-done Guy Gets Graded on Grammar

“Blue Collar T.V.” standout Larry the Cable Guy is getting blasted by one outraged scholar for his “grammatical abortion of the English language.” Princeton English professor Trowell “Kong Dong” McDowell has publicly denounced the comedian, claiming he possesses “an over-abundance of delectable white-trashiness.” McDowell, a professor of languages at Princeton for two years and self-proclaimed “blue-baller”, whatever that means, claims he and “at least one if not two” of his colleagues have been “driven to tears” by what he refers to as the “hamburger helper” of late night comedy shows.
Defending his outlandish claims, McDowell offers the obvious linguistically treasonous phrase, “Git-r-done.” While many find this mildly amusing, McDowell pulls out his red pen and notes the grammatical treachery that abounds. “It certainly is not supposed to be communicated in such a manner,” educates McDowell. One should say, “Get her done,” if one chose to use this combination of words. “Of course, there is the less popular ‘Do her,’ if one were so inclined. McDowell also questioned the comedian’s misnomer. “I absolutely refuse to believe that he is, in fact, a real cable person,” says McDowell. “I even attempted to comment to Comcast about the matter. I had a meeting arranged with a Comcast associate from 8 a.m. to noon, but when noon came, I was told it would be between the hours of 1 and 6 p.m. When this didn’t happen, I simply gave up.”