Mount St. Helen’s Visitor Violently Erupts

Roughly two weeks ago Mount St. Helens became a hotbed of volcanic activity after lying dormant for almost twenty years. Being the only active volcano in the continental United States, her recent level of activity has drawn tourists and volcano buffs alike by the carload. One such carload consisted of the Harrahan family driving all the way from Hoboken, New Jersey to Washington to view the bubbling, spewing display of volcanic splendor. The Harrahan family contains father Peter, mother Sandra, daughter Candice and son Jacob. Jacob, who is notorious for questioning the geographic whereabouts on family trips, was specifically instructed to “sit back, shut up, enjoy the ride or else!” by father Peter upon beginning the educational family vacation. Having spent the last two months trying to convince Pops Harrahan to spend the family vacation budget on “pimping their ride,” Jacob knew in the back of his mind that he had no intentions of following Peter’s wishes.
The route from Hoboken to the west coast would cover some of the most beautiful landscape the country had to offer; Jacob had every plan to utilize all 2500 miles of the journey. Somewhere around Council Bluffs, Iowa, the incessant “are we there yet?” cries coming from Jacob’s mouth began to severely irritate father Harrahan. Mr. Harrahan had been reading “10 Easy Steps To Tolerate Your Child,” but step 10 was used up way back in the Amish country of Pennsylvania. Jacob’s plan came to fruition when his father, once a calm man, violently erupted with anger on the last “are we there yet?” comment he could possibly handle. A passing motorist gave the following eyewitness account: “(Mr. Harrahan) stepped out of the car, which had been pulled over on the side of the interstate, and yanked (Jacob) out of the car. Amidst the process of yelling at his son, (Mr. Harrahan’s) face swelled with redness, his ears actually became tea kettle spouts that blew out hot steam, his hair caught on fire and his body lifted off the ground.” It should be noted that Mr. Harrahan is the first parent in the history of road trips to actually “turn this car around” before arriving at the vacation destination.