Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Come, These Dead Bodies are Great for Crowing Over

World leaders took advantage of the devastating South Asian tsunami last week by racing to outbid one another in a globally televised charity auction. Secretary of State Colin Powell even flew to the region personally in order to tell the people there about the greatness of America, a message that natives said was exactly what they had been waiting to hear.

In related news, some Arab news stations finally revealed the true cause of the monster quake that rent the floor of the Indian Ocean and spawned the galloping waves that destroyed much of the South Asian coastline: apparently, Zionist infidels and Christian fornicators, gathered together at Hannukah and Christmas in order to sin more freely, brought the wrath of God down upon poor nations in one of the most economically depressed parts of the world. Arab scientists are still puzzling over why God would choose to punish Muslim and Hindu countries for Jewish and Christian sins, although some say it's because He doesn't want the crusaders to poison Arab minds with thoughts of elections and all of that nonsense.

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