Don King Out For Justice

In a brilliant ploy to shed his image as a greedy extortionist Don King filed a $2.5 billion defamation lawsuit against ESPN last Wednesday. ESPN, which is the most widely proliferated acronym ever with only 1 person who knows what it stands for, called the fair haired Don a "huckster" and a "snake oil salesman" in a recent SportsCentury biography piece about the boxing promoter. King, who is an idiot, says that these allegations are "underridgable" and "quapondorous" and says that he is "out to get justice". His lawyer, Willie Gary, said that he is out to get 40% of $2.5 billion. The staff of the Daily Scoffer has done some digging and we have found evidence that ESPN's allegations are valid. A 1944 photo of King with his teammates when he played AA ball for the Des Moines Hucks proves that he was once indeed a Hustkster, and a 1987 W-2 that we have acquired shows that King worked for three months for the Little River Snake Oil Company as Vice President of Sales, Atlantic-Pacific region. Speaking for ESPN in response to Mr. King's lawsuit Chris Berman had this to say: "Back-backbackbackbackback....Don King is a moron!".