The Outsiders Lose Another Loner to Ditech.com

Loosely confederated but deeply bound by their common hardship, the Outsiders today suffered what has become an all-too familiar setback when they lost another loner to Ditech.com.

Group spokesman Ponyboy said, "We was thinkin' Darrell'd stick with us, considerin' all the tough times we've known together--but then he up and goes to Ditech.com, sayin' they'd let him take out a 60 month mortgage on his house for the unbelievably low rate of 1.9 percent, with no closing fees. We's just simple folk, can't compete with the big fellas none, I guess."

Darrell responded to Ponyboy, saying, "Them guys is goin' nowheres. With Ditech.com, I am somebody--banks an' other lendin' institutions just can't cut it, and neither can them lowdown greasers. Sure, I went over to the socs--what's them hoodlums gonna do about it?"

Tragically, Darrell was later fired for 'excessive use of spittoons and excessive rumbling on company time'.