al Zarqawi Signs Ben Wallace

Terrorist leader Abu Musab al Zarqawi has signed former Pistons forward Ben Wallace to a three-year, three-hundred million dinar deal after Wallace's involvement in a free-for-all fisticuff Friday night led to his dismissal from the NBA.

"I liked Wallace's stuff. He showed he's not afraid to act irrationally, and that he has a penchant for unnecessary violence. We can use him on our team," al Zarqawi declared to The Daily Scoffer in a telephone interview from an undisclosed location.

Wallace's first move as an insurgent was to ask his new boss for time off in order to promote his upcoming rap album, entitled, "It's All About the Dinars, Y'all".