Muqtada al-Sadr to Release "Ululating to the Oldies"

Firebrand Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr will release his newest workout video, "Ululating to the Oldies", on Monday.

Apart from being a vital source of revenue for al-Sadr's operations, his line of workout tapes are also key components in every insurgent's training regimen. For example, some budding anarchists who watch al-Sadr's programs learn how to ululate for maximum hatred-sculpting, while others prefer the rage-toning track. "Ululating for Buns of Steel" and "Ululating Your Way to a Slimmer You" were among last year's most popular episodes in this best-selling series.

Sorry, no delivery is available. "Ululating to the Oldies" is sold only in al-Sadr's louse-infested hovel, or at the Fallujah Gap.