Colombia, Palestine to Hold Coup d'Etat/Riot Exchange

Top-level leaders from Colombia, which experiences a coup d'etat roughly once every fourteen hours, and Palestine, which is in a near-perpetual state of pandemonium, agreed yesterday to hold a summit in December in order to exchange expertise on violent, sudden changes of governments, and on quelling uprisings of unemployed societal dregs.

It was unclear where the summit would take place, but sources from both sides expressed a desire to "get as far away [from Colombia and Palestine] as is humanly possible."

At the time of this writing, there had been three new administrations in Colombia and five assassinations of summit organizers in Palestine, leaving the future of the talks in doubt. One Palestinian official, who requested that his name be withheld, said, "perhaps we can just agree to walk out on the balconies of our respective walled compounds at a certain time and fire our automatic weapons into the air as a gesture of friendship/mutual desperation."

Colombian generals with whom The Daily Scoffer spoke seemed open to the idea, right up until the time they were summarily executed by their lieutenants.