Locusts Descend upon Israel, Hamas Claims Responsibility

Hamas leaders called the Doha, Qatar-based al Jazeera television network this morning to claim responsibility for a swarm of locusts that began descending upon the Israeli countryside late Saturday evening.

"We sent the locusts to pester the Zionists in their satanic country," the unsigned Hamas statement read. "Next we will send frogs, then boils, then flies--no, wait, it will be flies, then frogs, THEN boils--and finally we will send Barbara Streisand. Let us see if the Zionists can withstand that."

Each locust was reportedly wearing a tiny checkered kaffiyeh and buzzing, "death to Israel, death to America, death to sorghum, wheat, millet, barley, and pulse".