Gas, Healthcare, Steel Prices On the Rise, Kids of America Don't Care

With Mommies and Daddies all across the country fighting falling wages and higher costs of goods and services the toy industry has called on children every where to show no mercy in their holiday wish lists. "America's kids have really risen to the occasion," said Sal Ivate of Kick em'While their Down Toys, "the hot items this year are $899 mini-choppers and $149.99 Nintendo DS game units, and kids from Cally to Sarasota are completely disregarding the financial situations of their parents and demanding these gifts." Meanwhile Lester Franks, who pays $14,000 a year to send his son to private school, $400 a month in health insurance, $2500 a summer for soccer camp, provides Abercrombie & Fitch jeans at $38 apiece and regularly buys milkshakes, is not as enthusiastic. "He has more things and has been more places at age 15 then I had at age 35, yet he won't come out of his room because I refused to buy him an "America Idol" karoke machine." While some innocent parents like Mr. Franks are getting squeezed a recent report by the Pew Research Center suggests that many parents have brought this upon themselves by trying to buy the love and respect of their children. "When times were good in the recent years many parents have thrown toys, trips and electronics at their kids rather than really parent" Pew researcher Cal Thomas explained from his ivory tower,"and now that the cost benefit ratio of child neglect is no longer favorable many parents are trying to go back to good ol' quality time and the kids aren't having it." When reached for comment Junior Franks, Lester's son, said that his Dad was selfish, unfair and smelled of cabbage.