U.S. Treasury Gets Pay-Day Advance

U.S. Treasury secretary John Snow made an early morning visit to "Easy Money Pay-Day Advance" to cover the U.S. budget until payday on April 15, 2005. "People assume that the U.S. just mints this stuff", Snow sighed as he held up a handful of Benjamin's, "but we only get paid once a year and sometimes lame-duck appropriations bill's just won't wait." Snow said that the U.S. government, once a proud and respected institution, had taken out a signature loan of $6,420,690,324.05 to cover corporate tax cuts, the draining of the Everglades, federally funded abortions, Tom Daschle's farewell luncheon and body armor for troops in Iraq. (Snow said that the body armor was thrown in so that any senator that voted against going to "Easy Money" could be repeatedly accused of voting against body armor.) The bill that gave Snow permission to get the loan has been dubbed the "Easy Money Act" by hill insiders but will publicly be called the "McCain-Biden Awesome America Bill".