Condoleeza Rice Nominated for Sec'y of State, Kim Jong Il Wets Pants

Former National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice has been tapped by President George Bush to replace departing Colin Powell as Secretary of State during Bush's second term. Rice, co-architect of the recent Iraq war and noted hawk, will, to a great degree, help shape foreign policy for the entirety of her tenure as the nation's top diplomat.

Upon hearing of the news, North Korea's 'Dear Leader' Kim Jong Il tee-teed in his britches and whimpered pitifully, showing his cognizance of the ramifications of Rice's appointment for his regime. North Korean papers have tried to make the best of the situation, and have begun referring to Kim as "the Dear Knickerbocker-Tinkler" in all official government progaganda.