New Medicine Cures Confusion Over New Medicines

Gulliblex, a new medicine developed by Glaxo Laboratories and approved for use yesterday by the Food and Drug Administration, will, according to researchers, help patients who are currently suffering from confusion and disorientation as a result of seeing so many medicine commercials that never explain what in the world the medicine being advertised is for. This painful condition, known as common sense, may manifest itself in symptoms such as nagging doubt, perplexity, chronic desire to ridicule, and persistent unwillingness to suffer fools. People who think they may have common sense are encouraged to see their doctor, and to ask him to prescribe Gulliblex in horse doses at maximum cost to the federal government.

The FDA cautions that side effects of Gulliblex may include beri beri, scurvy, and becoming a Democrat. If you are already a Democrat, there is no need to begin a Gulliblex regimen--you are already immune.