EXCLUSIVE EXIT POLL RESULTS!

The Daily Scoffer has bribed, lied and cajoled and has a acquired the following early exit poll results:

(Margin of error+/- 3%)

*voters who exit after voting -------------------97%

*voters with children who left them in car ------56%

*voters who lied about length of line to
boss to miss more work------------------------88%

*voters who are now experiencing
"voters remorse" ------------------------------69%

*voters who wrote in random celebrity for
state representative -------------------------- 1%

*voters who wrote in Carl Winslow
for state representative -----------------------2%

*voters who are disenfranchised by high
poll tax (Mississippi only)--------------------42%

*voters who heart the Daily Scoffer ------------100%

**Stay tuned for more news as it breaks.**